Ref.: [HOW TO COMMUNICATE WHEN TRUST IS LOW (WITHOUT DIGGING YOURSELF INTO A DEEPER HOLE) by Charity](https://charity.wtf/2023/08/17/how-to-communicate-when-trust-is-low-without-digging-yourself-into-a-deeper-hole/) 10 tips and strategies for communicating effectively when trust is low. Put emphasis on being intentional with words, overcommunicating your intent, asking for clarity, and resisting assumptions. Acknowledge your difficulties, speak tentatively, and clear the air when necessary. There is a real need for reciprocity in rebuilding relationships and optimizing for many positive interactions. Understand and have empathy with others' perspectives and seek clarification to prevent misunderstandings. Effective communication and active effort are essential for repairing and improving relationships. It takes many small steps with many positive interactions. Core critique: The described approach lacks a grounding in resolving the underlying emotional state using techniques such as Non-Violent Communication to explore the differences. ## 10 Techniques 1. Acknowledge BEFOREHAND what you are going to say is *hard* for you to speak about. 1. [Or] Check-in AFTER to ensure it was OK, especially if you feel unease. 1. Speak tentatively and ask for validation. 1. Make sure you sound friendly: "Please", "thank you", and "hey there" go a long way. 1. Ask for a break: "I'm with you, but I need to absorb this", or even just say "whoa…". 1. Surface the story in your head ("You are asking me X because you don't trust I am Y.") 1. Engineer (even fake?) positive interactions (Careful: This might backfile.) 1. Communicate positive intent by taking the edge out of your message. (**!!!**) 1. Give people the opening to do better (compare to 2 and 6, though?). 1. Remember the other person's handicaps (non-native speakers, neurodiversity, etc.) - To the best of your ability, try to resist reading layers of meaning into textual communication. - To understand written words, meet your interlocutor live or over video. ## Key Points - acknowledge the difficulty of the situation before expressing concerns - clear the air if an issue is still bothering you - be intentional and careful with words - attempt to resist reading too much into textual communication - over-communicate intent and seek clarity - be open to repair the relationship - avoiding digging the hole deeper by assuming the worst of someone - speak tentatively, check alignment, and give feedback - strive for a high ratio of positive to negative interactions