Many management books say that to be a better leader, you should adopt certain behaviors. Some even claim that a specific technique will lead to better outcomes. Here, I will show you that the right mindset is the key to leading an effective team. You’ll see that strong teams need a mutual learning mindset. They need a leadership style focused on intent, not one that is command-driven. I based this post on my experience with Roger Schwarz’s teachings. I especially recommend [Smart Leaders, Smarter Teams](https://schwarzassociates.com/the-book-smart-leaders-smarter-teams/) and [The Skilled Facilitator](https://schwarzassociates.com/books/). I also include insights from David Marquet’s [[intent-based leadership]]. He describes this approach in [Turn the Ship Around](https://davidmarquet.com/books/turn-the-ship-around-book/). If you know these authors, you’ll find the content familiar. Your mindset shapes the outcomes you achieve. It influences your values and assumptions, which affect your behavior and interactions. I will compare two mindsets: the mutual learning mindset and the unilateral control mindset. Mutual learning chimes well with Marquet’s intent-based leadership. Both approaches challenge command-and-control structures. If your mindset doesn’t uplift your organization, your values can hurt the group’s impact. Even if you think a self-centered mindset helps you, it actually limits your team. A leader’s personality can overshadow team members who don’t fit in. This will leave many people in your organization feeling estranged. Let’s look at how a default mindset can lower performance. And in contrast, how curiosity, transparency, and compassion lead to better outcomes. These qualities are essential for fostering shared accountability within a team. Compassion means feeling _for_ someone with a genuine desire to help. In contrast, empathy means feeling _with_ someone. Conscientiousness means being diligent and keeping order. What many executives lack is this kind of _conscientious_ compassion. We adopt a limiting mindset as a result of the typical Western education. School education favors a mindset of being right and hiding negative feelings. We learn that it is vital to be a winner, not a loser. While these values may seem sensible, they can harm group performance. Roger Schwarz calls this a “unilateral control” mindset. He explains how adopting a “mutual learning” mindset can instead increase group performance. To achieve positive outcomes, as a leader, you should make informed decisions. Your team needs to share data, needs, and feelings to facilitate decisions. This ensures that we base choices on all available information. While sometimes a leader must admit they are wrong or let others lead for the group’s benefit. Otherwise, team members won’t feel empowered to challenge or support the leader. A “win-don’t-lose” or “be right” mindset can harm group performance. A leader with this mindset can't let others take charge or admit weaknesses. To ensure the best person leads at the right time, a leader must relinquish control. This requires the team to feel supported and courageous. An engaging leader can [*inspire* greatness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqmdLcyES_Q), as Marquet puts it. This isn’t the same as a charismatic leader who _demands_ greatness. A high-performing team leader can still make unilateral decisions when necessary. This might happen if not everyone affected or relevant can take part. The leader should always put the whole group’s interests before their own. They must inform the whole group of any unilateral decisions without delay. They consult missing members early to verify decisions. They let new information change past decisions. They also admit mistakes to the group. A compassionate leader shouldn’t allow everyone to act without restrictions. Also, showing compassion shouldn’t hurt long-term success. When a team member underperforms, the leader must act quickly and decisively. This intervention should focus on mutual learning. For instance, use the [BEEF technique](BEEF%20up%20your%20feedback.md): First, identify the harmful behavior (B). Next, explain its negative effects (E) with examples (E). Then, ask if the team member agrees. Apply genuine curiosity to understand their perspective. Once you both align on the facts, ask how they plan to avoid similar issues in the future (F). Don't forget to schedule a check-in. And clarify the consequence of no change. A mutual learning mindset is crucial for strong team performance. It matters more than your behaviors or techniques. You can’t get engagement without delegation, and you can’t delegate without trust. Courage arises from compassion for failure. Candor comes from holding yourself accountable. Transparency can’t exist if fear is present. You can't reach peak performance alone or as a team if you focus on control. Avoiding delegation, fearing failure, and lacking accountability will hold you back. Embrace a mindset that encourages trust and growth instead. Confront the truth with courage while striving for excellence. I hope this resonates with you or caused some level of [aporia](https://m.soundcloud.com/troubleshootingagile/aporia) to explore the works of [Schwarz](https://schwarzassociates.com/what-we-do/) and [Marquet](https://davidmarquet.com). If you disagree, I would love to hear your thoughts, as any [feedback](Contact.md)—positive or negative—is welcome.